An announcement.

GUESS WHO'S BACK, BACK AGAIN.

Sorry I haven't written in like a bajillion years. 

After my birthday which is the 12th of August, there will be brand new posts coming from every direction. ^_^ Look forward to those!

Ok, back to the original post.

All my life, I've known some things weren't quite right.

But I could never manage to pick out what those exact things were.

I've known ever since the age of 4.

But now, I've finally managed to pick them all out. At least, I think I have.

And I want to share one of them with the world.

I thought it'd be the most appropriate to put it on my blog, because a facebook post didn't really appeal to me.

Some people know what I'm about to announce already. I've confided in people long before I have ever had a chance to say this to everyone else who I know.

So, here goes....

I was in year 5 and I knew immediately what was going on with me.

I had a small crush on a girl.

Ok, a crush isn't that significant. But it developed and it started to turn into something a bit more.

I was terrified to tell anyone.

At the time, I thought being gay was a bad thing, being uneducated about the subject. I kind of put it in the back of my head and pretended it wasn't there. I tried to not look at this girl or talk to her or have anything to do with her, and yet I loved her and it was very painful.

Sure, I was 9. I probably didn't know what love was. Maybe it was just a strong liking to this person (who I won't name, in order to protect her life and my own) 

I'm pretty sure I know what love is - love is when you really care about that person and will do anything for them to be safe and happy and you want to keep them happy more than yourself because they're the most important person in your life. I know I don't know much, but I know what love is, I'm pretty sure.

In year 6, I got a boyfriend and I was fine with having one - I came to a conclusion that I wasn't attracted to girls and I passed it off as a phase, as I was sure I was attracted to boys.

But in year 7, those feelings for girls came back stronger.

I just had visions of me with a girlfriend and me kissing her and her kissing me, and I felt really happy. It sounds strange that I'd have those visions at 11 but I couldn't really hold them back.

I felt like it would be right.

At that time, I was 12. I was educated about homosexuality and transsexuality and everything to do with sexualities and identities so I knew not to keep those feelings back.

That year, a relative also came out and I felt very happy for them, but at the same time I cried because I couldn't say 'Me too.' I said it was because I was scared of ignorant people bullying them, and myself.

I came out to my parents at the time by simply saying "It'd be fun to have a girlfriend." And we talked a bit about same-sex relationships, saying it shouldn't be such a controversy because it's natural as they can't change who they are. They didn't mind me being attracted to girls in the slightest.

Through year 8, I had a huge crush on a boy which soon turned into love (most of you, if not all of you, know who it is.) and in 2013 in early year 9 on the 24th of October, he asked me to be his girlfriend and we've been together up until now, for nearly 9 months which feels amazing, and it's not that long for a relationship but those feelings haven't changed and if anything, they've gotten stronger.

I STILL knew in my head that I was bi. I came out to him and he was perfectly fine with it, saying 'It doesn't change you - you're still Hattie.' which I found to be one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to me about my sexuality. People would look at us and think that we were both straight. He is straight, just to clarify. Not that it matters.

That same month, I came out to a few of my friends, telling them to keep it a secret. They all did.

In June (gay pride month!) I came out to a few more friends and they were shocked at first, but knew there was nothing wrong with it.

And I'm deciding to make it official.

I'm bi.

And it doesn't matter. I shouldn't have to come out, but I'm proud of who I am and I don't want to keep it from anyone.

Yes, it's my own personal business, but I'm deciding to be open about it.

I'm Harriet and I'm bi. AND WHAT.